Some people say that Rules Are Meant to Be Broken, and when it comes to your relationship this is largely true.
The reason why this is true is because most people create ‘rules’ that they live by as a way to avoid experiencing pain.
Most of our rules in life are created out of fear.
One of my clients had a rule that he could only date women that were smaller in height compared to him. Was this client opening himself up to meeting an amazing woman, irrespective of superficial attributes such as height? Of course not.
He was coming from a place of fear, pride and most likely an over-correction of a past painful experience.
As I later discovered, my client “John” had once been with a woman many years ago, who was amazing, but who was also taller than he was. John mentioned that some of his friends and brothers had make jokes about him being her ‘toy-boy’ because he was so small compared to her. This name calling from his ‘friends’ caused him pain and embarrassment.
Over time, as John explained, all he could focus on was how tall she was and eventually he looked for other reasons to convince himself that the relationship wasn’t working. According to John, he believed that his friends and brothers wouldn’t make jokes about him if his next partner was shorter than him, and so he created the rule.
John’s FEAR based rule was: If I’m with a woman that is taller than I am, then my friends will make jokes about me, which will lead to feeling of embarrassment and pain, so my new rule will prevent this.
This is similar to how we all create rules to live by. Out of fear and avoiding pain.
Now in a lot of cases, our rules are used as an OVER-correction from a past painful experience, much like John did. He decided to find a woman that was shorter than him…something that his ex-partner was not. An over-correction.
What happened to John?
When John came to Relationship Success and used a number of tools on himself, he realised that there were so many other factors that led to the decline in his past relationship, such as a depolarisation in the sexual energies, despite the fact that many of the things he was doing was from a positive intent. He realised that he chose to allow the comments from his friends and brothers to impact his own self-image, and he realised that these comments were more of a reflection of their own limiting beliefs and insecurities. He soon realised that the break-down in the relationship had nothing to do with Height.
Once John started applying the techniques and systems he had learned from Intimate Success, he learned to stay in his Masculine energy and encourage and open up the feminine energies in his new partner, regardless of her height. He also learned how to install a greater sense of self-worth and self-appreciation, inoculating himself from being impacted by his friends future jokes.
So when you decide to break some rules, you are challenging your old fear-and-pain-avoiding mindset. When you break rules, you are growing, and facing those fears head on. When you break these rules, you are re-programming your mind with a mindset of openness, abundance, possibility, authenticity and growth.
So let me ask you this…
What ‘rules’ do you need to start breaking?
Need some help finding some rules?
Here are a few tips to find some rules to start breaking…
- What is something you yourself saying “I’m just not like that” or “I can’t do that” or “It has to be that way”?
- What are you trying to protect yourself from with these rules?
- When are you going to STOP this rule from holding you back, and realise that NOW is the perfect time to break it?
What are you trying to protect yourself from with that rule?
What if you were completely wrong and you could not actually protect yourself with that rule?
When would NOW be a good time to break that rule?
If you would like to gain training and develop a higher level of skill in maintaining & servicing your relationship, using a combination of both science and art, to ensure you have a deeply passionate & intimate relationship for the full duration of life, you can discover Shane & Jess Fozard’s Six Step Honeymoon Feeling Forever System at their upcoming Relationship Success weekend course. Click here for ticket information.
The tools and information from the experts on relationships is gold and too good to not share! *This is NOT marriage counselling!*