After being in a relationship for an extended period of time, dealing with the daily pressures of life, work & family stresses, it can be very easy to let the relationship slip into a routine.
Routine is the passion-killer, because in order to have passion you need excitement, and in order to have excitement there needs to be a degree of uncertainty and risk.
A relationship without intimacy, passion and romance is simply a Friendship. Is that really all you want?
Some people just get by in life. They come home from working all day, dealing with the housework and family, and then tell themselves that they don’t have the emotional or physical energy to put effort into their intimate relationship.
Your Intimate Relationship will either be the greatest source of pleasure or pain. Scientific studies on relationships have also discovered that people in an unhappy relationships are 35% more likely to get sick, and even have a shorter lifespan on average by 4 years. So isn’t something as important as that, worth putting in some extra effort to make it more blissful and fulfilling than it already is?
If the fires of passion has been left unattended for so long that it’s now just a smokey pile of warm charcoal, then here are some quick igniters to get those amazing fiery flames of intimacy and passion back into your relationship once again:
1) Reminisce about a positive shared experience/memory.
(Degree of Difficulty: low)
The heart of a healthy long-term Relationship is a deep friendship, so take the time to sit down with each other and talk about past positive experiences shared together, the same way you do when you catch up with old friends. It can help to make a conscious and mutually agreed effort to reminisce and reflect on your favourite holiday together, or your wedding day, or your first date, or some other memorable moment. This reflection on positive moments, increases the positive emotional association you have towards your partner and helps to override any conflict that may arise at some time in the future.
2) Identify Your Own and Your Partner’s Love Strategy.
(Degree of Difficulty: Med)
Everyone wants to feel loved and connected, yet we all achieve these feelings in different ways. Some of us prefer to be told, some of us prefer to be touched, some of us prefer to be given gifts, some of us prefer to have things done for us, and others just want to spend quality time with you. Have you stopped to consider which type of behaviour makes you feel more loved? You most likely have a preference to one or two that I’ve mentioned. And…so does your partner. Find out how your partner prefers to feel love and do exactly that. An easy way to start is to ask on a regular basis – “What are 3 things I can do for you today to make you feel more loved?” It takes the guess work out of it.
3) Go on a Date Night Fantasy
(Degree of Difficulty: High)
If you are open to pushing yourself outside your comfort zone just a little in order to take your relationship to the next level then this is a great idea for you to use…
Organise to go out on a date night together, but arrive separately. Role play as though you are meeting for the first time. Be playful, be seductive, be flirtatious, but don’t play too hard to get. Take on different names if it helps. Pretend that you are meeting for the first time, and they you both are instantly attracted to each other, and see where the night takes you. When you wake in the morning, that’s when the role-play ends.
Intimacy & Passion is not just about having sex. It’s about being present and authentic with your partner. Being vulnerable and open. Take the time to turn off the tv, put the laptop and devices away, and turn towards one another to talk, listen & engage with each other, remembering to have fun along the way.
If you would like to gain training and develop a higher level of skill in maintaining & servicing your relationship, using a combination of both science and art, to ensure you have a deeply passionate & intimate relationship for the full duration of life, you can discover Shane & Jess Fozard’s Six Step Honeymoon Feeling Forever System at their upcoming Relationship Success weekend course. Click here for ticket information.